“Self-confidence is the best outfit, rock it and own it.” -author unknown
I have always been attracted to people who exude self-confidence. And I mean this in regards to men and women. I have always been drawn to the people who light up a room, the people who own their talents and don’t push them aside, and the people who are unapologetically themselves. I love seeing people be the best version of themselves no matter what that means. No matter if I agree with it or not, no matter if anyone else does either. The people that just go through life living a life they love because they have the self-confidence to do it. They have the guts to stand up for what makes them happy and this means being unapologetically, self-confidently themselves.
I used to be so jealous that there were people in the world that could do this. Those people that don’t give a crap what other people think and go through life being themselves, always. Have you ever wanted this also? The good new is, self-confidence isn’t something you are necessarily born with, it is something you can LEARN. Just like building muscle, it takes time and energy to grow. It is something that everyone can have, if you practice and dedicate time to it on a regular basis.
If you are tired of playing small and you a ready to step out of your comfort zone, here are five ways you can increase your self-confidence and start living the life YOU want.
1. Mirror Exercise
The best way you can work on your self-confidence is by changing your thoughts. The thoughts you have on a regular basis essentially shape your life. Most of the thoughts you have are so programmed in your brain, that often times you don’t even realize you are thinking them (or how they are affecting you). The thoughts you have regularly could be holding you back from something you desire, but the really cool thing is, they don’t have to hold you back. Start to notice what you are telling yourself on a regular basis. What are a few phrases that you tell yourself over and over again and where do these thoughts come from? Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones and tell yourself the new positive thoughts every single day in the mirror. Look at yourself (maybe even point at yourself) and say, “I am really beautiful!” “I am so amazing!” “I deserve to have a job I love!” Or whatever the new positive thoughts are for you. In order to start gaining self-confidence, you have to start believing in yourself.
2. Get Rid of Toxic Relationships
Okay, this is one of the hardest, yet one of the most effective ways to gain confidence. My all time favorite personal development quote is, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” (Jim Rohn). Are you spending your time with people that build you up, that believe in your greatness, and that love you for who you are? Or are you spending time with people that are draining your energy, who are pulling you down to their level, and who are influencing you to be someone that isn’t in alignment with your values? Start to take note and adjust accordingly. It might sound harsh, but if you are spending time with the latter, you probably need to cut some people out of your social circle and get some new, empowering friends.
3. Do Things You Love and Do Them Often
What makes you light up? What makes you really, really happy? It can be anything from spending time with animals, to test driving cars, to being in nature, to making sculptures. Go spend time doing things that make you smile and feel alive. If you aren’t sure what lights you up, think back to what you loved as a child. Often times we suppress talents and things we loved when we were children in our adult life. And most of the time, the things we enjoyed as kids are still things we enjoy now. But, no matter how busy you get, spend time doing things that set your soul on fire.
4. Stop Caring What Other People Think
Easier said than done, right? How many times have you not done something for fear of what someone else would think of you? How many times have you pushed your dreams aside to stay in alignment with what society, your family, and/or your friends want you to do? Stop that, right now. Caring what other people think is one of the biggest ways to kill your dreams. And one of the biggest ways to kill the person you are inside. Go let your light shine and don’t let anyone else have power over you. Your dreams are your dreams. And you are who you are for a reason. Go show the world what you have to offer!
5. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
When you lack self-confidence it is easy to stay in your comfortable shell and keep put, even if it means being unhappy. One way to increase your self-confidence is by getting over your fears. And a fantastic way to do this is by getting out of your comfort zone regularly. Write down a list of all the things you would love to do, but are too afraid to do them. And every single day, do one of those things. They don’t have to be big at first, it could be something simple like smiling at a stranger, or standing in a different spot than you normally do in an exercise class. Do small things to get out of your comfort zone on a daily basis, and then start to tackle the larger ones that mean the most to you.
If you struggle with self-confidence and want support in this area, reach out to me for an initial coaching session. Let’s pull back your layers of self-doubt so you can practice self-love on a daily basis, and exude self-confidence like never before!